Coming Out of Retirement Isn't Easy

Coming out of retirement isn't easy. Now, I am not talking about the kind Brett Favre or Michael Phelps pulled on us. I am talking about the kind where you come out of retirement to start the next chapter of your life...

I am coming out of retirement and I sometimes find that I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself anymore.

Let me explain.

I have been a student-athlete since elementary school. It has been my lifestyle since day one: sweat in the classroom and on the track. I put all my energy into being the best student I could possibly be, while giving my sport all the guts and glory I had to offer.

Well, as of May 2016, those days are behind me. I no longer have the title of student-athlete: the name tag I wore with the utmost pride. And now I am left looking around in confusion...

This is very difficult for me to admit, to write about, and share with all of you. But it's something I need to do. *Warning: this post is going to get personal.

Since as far as I can remember, I have always been the girl who had 5 million things on her plate and somehow accomplished them all. There was never a summer where I wasn't working (sometimes multiple jobs) and being OCD about getting my workouts in (and done to a T).

But that was just the girl I was. It was the lifestyle I best identified with. It was the lifestyle that I thrived in.

Fast forward to the present: Summer 2016.

My few months of relaxation, recovering from being a DI athlete, and finally giving myself a break, has come to an end. It is time to get my butt back into gear...and it hasn't been easy.

I am coming out of retirement and I sometimes find that I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself anymore...when coming out of retirement means finding your way back to yourself.

No, I haven't been working this summer. I was focused on spending time with my family: time that I have missed out on over the past 4 years. I was also focused on making connections in the field of broadcasting: shooting for the moon in the job search and seeing where I would land (but that's a whole other conversation we won't get into).

As far as running, it's almost as if I want nothing to do with the physical act. I don't know if it's because I put so much pressure on myself about times to hit and distances to achieve...but I find myself going out for a run and coming back disappointed in what I "accomplished."

But did I try? Did I lace up my sneakers and take those first steps to leave the house behind me? Yes, I did. And that right there should be enough. But it's not.

I am coming out of retirement and I sometimes find that I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself anymore.

Because, you see, once you are an athlete, it's something that doesn't leave your bloodstream. I will always be hard on myself...that is never going to change.

But what I need to do, what I need to start focusing on is running for myself. I am not reporting times back to my coach and I am not on anyone else's schedule. This is my time. My workouts. That is what I need to remind myself...but I am just not there yet.

So I guess what I am trying to say is Summer 2016 has been a challenge. And for anyone who has experienced the transition from being a collegiate athlete to entering the "real world," you know what I am talking about.

I am coming out of retirement and I sometimes find that I look in the mirror and barely recognize myself anymore.

If you are coming up on your year when you are about experience this transition, athlete or not, I want you to know what I didn't know: It's hard. I won't lie about that. This transition is something you've never experienced before in your life. It's a million new things, all taking place at once. And you may start to feel like you are losing your own identity.

But this is what I don't want you to do: I don't want you to get caught up in it like I did. Look in the mirror and see yourself for who you are.

Embrace this new chapter in your life. Embrace the time you get to become someone you've never been before. Just because you may not recognize yourself doesn't mean you are gone. Your old characteristics are still there, trust me.

But if you are like me and you're struggling to find yourself, don't give up. Don't be gloomy about the situation. Take a deep breath, look in the mirror, and accept the fact that this is what it means to come out of retirement.

It has taken me a while to get here (not that I am sure that I am here yet). But I am trying. With every "....but I'm fine" statement I make to people, I try my best to start believing it.

I am coming out of retirement and I am realizing this isn't the end...it's just the beginning and it's time to find myself again.

What it means to be a Role Model

What a week it has been with the Olympics. If you are anything like me, it has been extremely hard to keep your eyes off the screen. Between questioning whether or not Phelps is human, to being blown away by Simone Biles, the action has been non-stop and top-notch excitement.

There also have been many "aww"-evoking moments. And the one I would like to talk about is the relationship between Michael Phelps and Katie Ledecky. Twelve years separate them in age, but the sport of swimming continues to bring them closer. Ledecky always looked up to Phelps during her early years and to think she would now see her last name on the same headline as his must feel so unreal. Phelps has even voiced in post-race interviews how stunned he is by Ledecky's performances.

Now, ten years after little Ledecky got Michael Phelps' autograph, it was his turn to get hers. So as we all smile, laugh, and "aww" over the recent "recreation photograph" that was taken, we have to look at the bigger message here: What it means to be a role model.

As an athlete, you are constantly setting goals for yourself. While your workouts, your coach's master plans, and your everyday hard work are all factors in helping you reach those goals, it's when you have an example that has already been set for you that keeps the fire alive. An example of how to succeed and be tough, the type of athlete who is going to inspire you on your worst days and your best days; those athletes then become one of the best factors that help you achieve greatness.

They are able to say: "Hey, look what I did." So then, in turn, you can say, "Hey look, I can do it too."

That is why it is so important for athletes to remember that they are constantly setting an example, good or bad. Athletes do so much more than make a lot of money (sometimes) and play a sport, all while putting on entertainment for America. And that can easily be forgotten. But as an athlete yourself, those are rarely ever the things you are thinking about when you look up to these individuals.

And now more than ever, it is easier to look up to certain athletes. For example, during my last season our coach wanted each event group to start following a professional runner (who runs our event) on any and all social media outlets. So we did. And I began following Brenda Martinez. Who knew that seeing a post here and there would be the perfect reminder to continue to push myself, to reach for that next step, and to achieve success...because it's out there (even if I didn't believe it).

And it's more than just a social media relationship, you become invested in these athletes. So when their Olympic dreams don't turn out as planned, you are right there in heartbreak with them...and that is what makes the world of sport so incredible.

So I just hope these athletes remember that they have a million little eyes gazing up at them saying, "One day I want to be just like _____." Because for me, the biggest reward as an athlete is to inspire the next generation to be the best they can be. I hope every day that I left my team knowing that it's an honor to be an athlete, and to never take that for granted.

One of my favorite questions as a little kid was, "Who is your favorite baseball player?" And I would answer without hesitation: Derek Jeter. Why? Sure he was young and cute and A YANKEE. But come on. He was the one athlete who showed me from the very beginning what it meant to work hard, stay humble, and be a team player. So throughout my 14 or so years of athletics, serious athletics, what do you think I did?

I worked hard. I stayed humble. And I was always a team player.

Time To Get Pumped Up

It's time to get excited, ladies & gentlemen. SEC Football. Is. Back.

No Argument for A-Rod

I just need to put this one to rest right now.

Courtesy of www.gannett-cdn.com

Alex Rodriguez should never be inducted into the Hall of Fame. Not now. Not ever. Why? You know it. I know it. The world of baseball knows it.

This will be one of my shortest blogs because there is no argument here.

How are you going to differentiate what he accomplished during his career while he was clean verses when he was drugged up?

You can't. 

The guy did drugs. That will never be Hall of Fame-worthy.

End of story.

Can't Tame the Tiger

Last night, Michael Phelps did something I think we've all been waiting for: he shut-up Chad Le Clos.

We all know the fury inside Phelps ignited back in London in 2012 when Le Clos snatched the gold from him in the race that should just be named after Phelps by now -- 200m Fly. But all hope was lost when Phelps announced his retirement. That was it. Over. No second chance...Until in April 2014 when Alexa Paige's 2012 plea-Tweet finally came true:

Yes. He came back for the biggest splash yet: Payback.

Through the years leading up to the Rio Olympics, there was a little bit of back and forth with who swam faster and when (not against each other, of course). Phelps made ton of mistakes, followed by doing a ton of growing up, while Le Clos, and his father simply grew cockier. 

.@MichaelPhelps is not impressed with Chad le Clos's antics.

For more swimming coverage: https://t.co/Bpy94WsMrM https://t.co/ylAYZgHm1h

— NBC Olympics (@NBCOlympics) August 9, 2016

Chad, haven't you learned to not fire-up Phelps? Well, you learned last night didn't you?

I was on the edge of my seat during the 200m Butterfly, right there with the rest of America. But was anyone else worried about Masato Sakai like I was? Just inches from the wall and I was having horrific flashbacks to 2012 and could barely watch as the men finally touched the wall: seconds feeling like hours. 

But when all was said and done, I could breathe and Phelps finally received the gold medal he deserved. Come on, you know I am right. And before I go, let's talk about that medal ceremony, shall we?

Michael took the podium, was given his medal, now cue the national anthem...

Courtesy of www.SI.com

You could see emotions completely taking over Phelps' facial expressions, even tears beginning to fill his eyes. But then, right towards the end of the anthem, he begins to laugh. At first, I was like, "Okay, he is just so overwhelmed, can't control his tears, and now he can't help but laugh about it." Then I started to realize this was not the case. He was down-right, full-on laughing. He even capped off the anthem by pointing to the stands.

So of course I was curious and had to investigate...

Turns out, Phelps had some buddies from Baltimore in the stands and they did exactly what they would do at an Orioles game...shout "O!" during that part of the anthem. Cute, right? And can you blame Phelps? The guy just won the race of his life (if you ask me), he's on the podium crying, then he sees some of his best buds from Baltimore and New York right there in the stands...in Rio. I am not making excuses. Don't get me wrong, I am not very happy about this...definitely not the most classiest thing you could've done, Michael.

But still, talk about a powerful night.

How much more heartbreak can a Yankees fan endure?

If you are a Yankees fan, it has been a pretty rough week if you ask me. First, we had all the commotion down to the final minutes of the trade deadline last Monday. Then to end the week, Mark Teixeira broke all our hearts by announcing his retirement from the game of baseball. And then, sitting at the Sunday morning breakfast table, Alex Rodriguez goes and announces his retirement. I am out of breath just typing all of that.

So where do I begin? Teixeria, you will be missed. There is no doubt about that. However, do I blame you? You've been having a subpar season, riddled many injuries (especially now, close to what we hope will be a post-season), and well, you are 36-years-old. Unfortunately, in baseball years, that is almost extinct, almost.

Courtesy of www.bronxbaseballdaily.com

Your poise, your adorable face, and of course that perfect final out in 2009, will be hard to say goodbye to. I'm just happy that we don't have to do that until the end of the Yankees 2016 season (whenever that may be). Unlike your other teammate...

Can we talk about this for a second?

As you all probably know by now, and you better unless you live under a rock, Alex Rodriguez will play his final game of his career this Friday. That's right, this Friday night in the Bronx, A-Rod will step up to bat one final time, will make an out one final time (hopefully), and will call himself a Yankee one final time.

And as for the rest of the games this week? Yeah, still to be determined how many times we will see A-Rod on the field...a little weird, right? I mean he even said it himself when asked about being benched: "painful and embarrassing." YA THINK?

After Friday, Alex Rodriguez will automatically take on a new role: Yankees Advisor. So he may not be taking the field for the rest of the season, but he will still be with the team...could this be because we agreed to pay him, oh I don't know, a couple million or twenty? *cue eye roll*

Enough about that, even though there is still so much to be said.

Courtesy of www.outsidepitchmlb.com

What I would like to wrap it up with today is not just the fact that I am going to be making name tags for the new team next year, because face it, we aren't going to know anyone. But I would like to end with the phone interview Mark Teixeria had with Mike & Mike this morning. After talking about his mark on baseball and the 2009 World Series final out, he, of course, was asked about his teammate's news bomb.

And what he said was something I will never forget:

"I told my boys [his sons] this morning: 'Listen, guys, just because your friends make mistakes doesn't mean you turn your backs from them...' You know when people talk about Alex Rodriguez and me, Alex has been my friend for a long time and he's made mistakes but I am not going to turn my back on him and I am going to continue to support him. Because he is a great teammate and he loves the game of baseball and deep down in there he cares about people, he really does. And I know this is a tough time for him so we are going to be there for him."

*wipes tears*

Nick Saban trying to out-smart Smart?

On June 16, Maurice Smith walked into Nick Saban's office and began the story that is making headlines this week. Smith told Saban he had decided to transfer in order to get more field time, and can you blame him? Well, apparently Coach Saban has a huge problem with this. However, legally he can't have a problem with it.

First of all, the basics: the cornerback from Sugar Land, TX happens to be graduating from UA this weekend. Correct, Saturday's ceremony will mark the start of his graduate status. So if Saban is throwing out SEC rules, so will I. I read it, and you can too. Directly from the SEC bylaws:

14.5.5.1 Transferring within the Southeastern Conference. A transfer student from a member institution shall not be eligible for intercollegiate competition at another member institution until the student has fulfilled a residence requirement of one full academic year (two full semesters) at the certifying institution. 

Okay, that's fine. I understand that. But guess what, Smith will be a graduate student once he walks across that stage this weekend. So technically he is not a transfer student. He's a new graduate student. Am I right? 

14.5.5.6.1.1 Graduated Student Exception. A student-athlete who has earned a baccalaureate degree shall be exempt from the annual limits in SEC Bylaw 14.3.2.1 (c) (below):

(c) There shall be an annual limit on the number of student-athletes who are non-qualifiers and who may become eligible after their freshman year for athletically-related financial aid, practice, and competition, whether such student-athletes are enrolled as freshmen or as 4-4 transfer students. 

I am no lawyer, but it looks to me like there really aren't any limits here. But then again they are bylaws, and bylaws are always confusing. So forgive me if I am wrong. But come on...I think we all know the only real limits here are coming from Saban's sour attitude. Because did I fail to mention where Maurice Smith is looking to go? 

Courtsey of www.al.com

That's right. Smith is looking to become a Bulldog and rekindle his relationship with former UA assistant coach, Kirby Smart . Again, can you blame him? No athlete is actually close with the head coach. You have much more interaction with the assistant coaches because they are the ones who are overseeing your area of work on the field. They might be labeled as "assistants" but it sure as heck feels like they're your head coaches, trust me. 

The situation we have here is an athlete who wants to actually play during the season and would like to do so with a coach that he admires. I really don't see this as a crime.

So can anyone explain to me why Maurice Smith walked into the locker room, the day after he spoke to Saban back in June, and found all his personal belongings in the trash? That's right, I said trash. And on top of that (or should I say bottom?) he was banned from using the athletic facility. 

This simply makes no sense to me. No actions had been taken yet. The only action was Smith following protocol when he asked Saban for "permission to contact." He could have gone behind Saban's back, trust me, it's been done before. 

I really hope Saban speaks up soon because I really don't want this drama when I should only have excitement for camp to start next week.

Oh, and I'm sorry, but does anyone remember Chris Black from earlier this year? (Yeah me neither, so let me fill you in). He graduated from Alabama and wanted to transfer to an SEC school, Missouri. Sound familiar? And he did. Successfully. With no problems. Hmm...If I was Samyra Smith, this would be my favorite argument, too.

And if this doesn't hit the feels, I don't know what does. Saban, give this a read and just let the kid go: "Please do not punish my success and instead reward the efforts of discipline, and determination that UA requires in all of their student-athletes to succeed,” Smith wrote.

How do we feel about Phelps?

So as you all probably know by now, it was announced this morning that 22-time medal winner, Michael Phelps has been given the honor of carrying the American Flag during the Rio Opening Ceremony. And in fact, this will be Phelps' first Olympic opening ceremony he has ever attended. So why is the ex-druggie, opening ceremony skipper our flagbearer?

Courtesy of www.people.com

This is an interesting post for me to write because once upon a time Michael Phelps was little Alexa Paige's favorite athlete. "He's so good! He's so cute." He was hands down my favorite guy to look up to (besides Derek Jeter, of course) and when he announced his retirement in 2012, I am pretty sure I was shedding a tear or two right before his hand touched that pool wall for the "last time." Oh, Alexa. I was begging him to pull a Brett Favre and come back in due time...well, clearly my wish was granted.

Before we get into the controversial stuff, let's address the fact that Phelps has not been to an opening ceremony. Turns out, I will be the first one to stand up for him on this one. "You’re on your legs for like six or seven hours and it’s a long night," he [Phelps] told NBC. And that is the last thing you want to do when your event is just hours following the next morning.

Trust me, I can recall numerous times my teammates and I would beg our coaches to return to the hotel room if two-day track meets ended up going past 9 P.M. We valued our sleep, especially when we had to get up the next morning at 7 A.M. and give our peak performances. Again, I am comparing Olympic athletes to DI athletes, but still. I can relate. Don't even get me started with their housing accommodations in Rio right now.

My point is, the only one who should be upset about missing the ceremony is Michael himself.

But I also know what you are all thinking, as I am thinking the same myself. Michael Phelps has gotten into a lot of trouble over the years, to the point of nearly being stripped of his medals. So why is he so honorable to carry our flag? Yes, he has really cleaned himself up over the years, in many ways (i.e. he now has a family, reconciled with his own father, etc.) No, what he has done is still not excusable.

Courtesy of www.emaze.com

But let us recall that at the end of the day he is the most decorated Olympian. That right there says a lot. The guy is more relaxed than I think he has ever been in his entire life. And for an athlete, that is a huge deal. So I think it is time that Michael enjoys himself at one of the most top-charting events an athlete can be a part of. He has always been a role model, not the best one at times. But he has shown us what it means to be a dedicated athlete, to mess up big time, and what it takes to clean yourself up and create your own Act 2.

So let the show begin, and may you carry that flag with a smile on your face, Mr. Phelps.

Procrastination 101: Taught by the New York Yankees themselves

Courtesy of Alexa Paige:
All that I could manage to write on my headline board over the weekend

Let's take a quick trip down memory lane, shall we? Remember back when you were in college and you knew you had tons of work to do. Meanwhile, you still chose to hit the bar with your buddies on a Thursday night because you were the King of Procrastination. Then when you came stumbling home at 2 A.M. it suddenly became the perfect time to start your 10+ page research paper that was due the next day. You send it off to the professor with a smile on your face, proud of your "finest" work.

Well, I am pretty sure this is exactly what the Yankees' front office did this weekend. Went out drinking, blew off some steam, and then suddenly remembered the trade deadline was two short days away. So what did they do? Naturally, they decided it was the perfect time to start making trades...trades that would make jaws drop as the ESPN ringtone resounded from cell phones nonstop on Sunday morning.

"I'm still trying to get over the fact that we traded the best of the best," Betances said (ESPN). 

Me too, man...me too.

It first started with the Aroldis Chapman trade last week, but we know this. I'm over it...really. But now Betances, myself, and the rest of the Yankee community are shaking our heads over the Andrew Miller trade. When you have a relief pitcher with a 1.39 ERA and nine saves for your team thus far in the 2016 season, you can't help but beg the question: what did he do wrong?

Now, of course, there is all this talk about the four, yes four, prospects that the Yankees picked up in the trade: Clint Frazier, Justus Sheffield, Ben Heller, and J.P. Feyereisen. Everyone is all excited and on their high horses because they are young, fresh, and ready to turn this struggling team around. But they are coming from the minor leagues, IN AUGUST.

Don't get me wrong. I know the Yankees are struggling and are acting on behalf of a desperate plea right now. I know we need this. I just don't agree that we needed to do this IN AUGUST, just to try and salvage the hopes of our post-season.

The Yankees are already knee-deep in the mud. You can call on a miracle, but don't think you received it in the form of four men from the minor leagues. This also brings up the point that I don't fully agree with this whole mid-season trade nonsense anyway. You're trading a player to suddenly be sent off to a different team with three, maybe three and a half months to play if he's lucky? Sure, the first baseman will still be playing first base like he knows how. He will still catch the ball, throw the ball, and tag the base like he has been doing all season.

Call me crazy, but there is something to say about team dynamic. And when you do a mid-season trade like this, you can kiss any such thing goodbye. The game is more than just talent; it's about how well everyone works together, on and off the field. That is what is going to take a team from good to great.

So I guess what I am saying is good luck, Yanks. I hope these newly acquired "angels" of yours just meld perfectly into the mold you have created over the past four months. And I know McCann, Beltran, and Nova are all on your radar as well...don't even think about it.

Oh and back to that term paper you handed in. How did that grade turn out? Exactly.